Saturday, May 14, 2011

dusty nonentities

My days are gathering a same-ish hue;
they are a collection of dusty nonentities.

We keep driving into the city where the rows
of houses dance cheek-to-cheek.
They aren't right.

None of this is right.
I would prefer a home in the country.
A wallflower house, isolated,
that blends into its surroundings
by donning a gown of ivy.

It seems the ugly things of life
stick to me like spiderwebs.
Though I tear them off with shaking hands
I can still feel their ghost threads
Leave me alone, please.
Everyone just leave me alone.

I feel corseted.
And my words are pounding behind my ribcage
full of life.
But they cannot escape their bony prison
and I don’t know how to set them free.

So my songs go unsung
because right now my lungs barely have
enough air to breathe,
let alone give life to a melody.
Even one that could fill the empty spaces
my life is crowded with.

I've lost my vim.

{It's just been one of those weeks. One where I can't concentrate and nothing gets done. I haven't been sleeping enough, my words stick in my throat, and my emotions are in an uncharacteristic turmoil. WHEE! I think I'm mainly frustrated because I've been home alone quite a few times this week and I haven't taken any advantage of the fact. I usually use my rare alone time to work on my songwriting but I just haven't felt inspired at all, lately, so I don't even try. No wonder Time hates me; I do nothing but waste what he gives me.}

{Both pictures are of Françoise Hardy and I no longer remember where I found them.}


  1. i'm having this kind of week too. *sigh*
    i love the pictures darling.

  2. Ugh, I know exactly how you feel :( Just a monotonous chain of it and it sucks. But, I love your writing, this is beautiful xo

  3. haze: Awww, here's hoping for a better week next week!
    I'm glad! I've always loved those two pictures too. :)

    Gypsy: Yup, it's the worst. Oh, thank you, dear. :)

  4. "where the rows of houses dance cheek-to-cheek"
    - This is so very perfect. I lived in a city like that.
    I've had a week like yours, I did not do half of the things I wanted to be done.
    So I wish to you a happy Monday. This week will be better, I believe. x

  5. Aww Melee, I had been going through similar days as you stated in the poem. I haven't been as productive as usual either. Wishing you a better week, filled with peace & positive activity.

  6. Ah, one of those weeks. Indeed, they are tough when they happen. The only advice I can give you is to do other things you enjoy like reading or watching a movie - things you've pushed back in order to work on other things. When you let your mind relax that way, it'll get back to normal :D

  7. Hannah Pioghaid: Oh, thank you so much, dear. I am fervently hoping you are right. I hope we do both have a much more fruitful week this week.

    Jade: Thank you, dearest! I am wishing the same for you. <3

    CloudyKim: Reading, huh... I think I can handle that. ;) I shall try your advice. Maybe, in relaxing my mind, I can sneak up on it and make it be productive before it even relizes what I'm doing! (Maybe I shouldn't be plotting against my own mind... but I'll do whatever it takes! =D)

  8. I hope you find it soon. Relax and sleep. Your body is probably confusseedd.
    We need to pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and give the world a cocky smile because we're gonna do it all some day.

  9. Thank you, Heather. I have been trying to go to bed early. ("Early" being a relative term. Perhaps I should've said "earlier", heh.) I think my body is always confused. ;)
    Yes, indeed we are! I can't wait. <3

    (Ooh! I like the song. That would explain why your post read like song lyrics! =D)

  10. We keep driving into the city where the rows
    of houses dance cheek-to-cheek.
    They aren't right.

    THIS LINE IS GENIUS. It captures all the sadness of such houses, thus completing the whole that Malvina Reynolds and Pete Seeger started with the humorous song "Little Boxes".
    Okay, anyway...
    I'm sorry your week has been frustrating, dear! Maybe you put too much pressure on yourself to songwrite. Sometimes it's nice to be alone, just doing nothing. Besides, if you're writing poems like this, the time has been well spent.

  11. Don't worry yourself over time my dear, it really is nothing at all. We have a tendency to believe time to be something as real and solid as us, even more so. We treat it as though we can see it or find it on a map. We let it hurry and push us along, as if we are actually moving from one place to another. We live bricked up in seconds and minutes, we must simply walk through the walls. Time is inconequential, once you see, it will come to mean less and less and the freedom will be just lovely. Dear Peter S Beagle tought me that and I am working hard to discard time and just live. Happy very belated Birthday sweetling, I'm terribly sorry for the late response as well as my absence. I shall be gone for a bit longer but wanted to stop in and wish you well. I am also sorry for this epic comment, I shall stop now :p

    xx and hugs


  12. Jenica: Thank you so much! I had never heard of that song but I just looked up the lyrics and greatly enjoyed them.
    I do often let myself simply enjoy the aloneness which is why I have been putting pressure on myself lately because I haven't taken any initiative these past couple months. That is such a sweet thing to say, thank you! You made me feel better, hehe. :)

    Jhordyn Ashley: I have never thought of viewing time that way. But I do love that thought and am thinking I should try to live more that way. I really need to read Peter S. Beagle, he's been languishing on my "I need to read these authors someday!" list. That needs to change.
    Thank you, dear! That's quite alright. And, oh, I rather like epic comments. ;)

  13. Thank you, Your writing has helped me,,
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  14. Thankyou Melee :) It almost broke my heart while writing it :(

    I think I'd like a wallflower house too.

  15. manda: Thank you! :)

    P.s. I am Me: Isn't that so satisfying? When we can write something that even makes us, as the author, feel an emotion so strongly.


  16. It is very satisfying, it's definitely one of the best things aboout being a writer :)


Silhouettes of a secret. A story told over a cuppa. Or perhaps just sitting on that stone bench, basking in the moonlight... and not saying anything at all.

("I can no other answer make but thanks, and thanks, and ever thanks." -Shakespeare, Twelfth Night)