All complexity gleaming just beyond the panes,
all ache hovering just above the bones.
The sun thudding on the naked ground,
loud as a rainstorm.
Two bleached lips forever coming together,
then coming apart, having forgotten
the moistness of words.
the moistness of words.
All alone in a cramped casing of flesh: stand.
Stand, stand with an iron taste ravishing the tongue.
Teeth marks bitten around the edges
of the heart, of the sky.
Birdsongs that taste unfamiliar,
yet eerily recall the ghosts of birches once known.
A wasteland. That is what this is called,
I believe. It is the only belief I let stay:
lodged securely in my windpipe.
lodged securely in my windpipe.
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This poem was written (for the most part) a few months ago whilst I was listening to Patti Smith. It's the latest in a long series of attempts to write something ugly. Well... not ugly, exactly. I just get fed up sometimes when my words feel too glib and pretty and I want to tear them up and leave them lying around with the sharp edges pointing upwards.
I don't know how I'm feeling, so I canna tell you. I'm still here, though I am still often overcome with the desire to disappear.
I've been uncharacteristically busy, which is actually awful because it puts me in the mindset on my non-busy days that I deserve to laze around and make an inordinate number of GIFs. That's my new hobby, you see. That and scanning things. If you follow me on tumblr, you might have noticed. Not that I've been obnoxious about it, or anything.....
My scanning-obsession all started with me deciding to scan a W.S. Merwin poem. I discovered how easy it was, and how much fun, and since then I've just been scanning anything that catches my fancy in a book.
I don't want to post my GIFs on here, but I will post a few of my favourite scans!
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| The W.S. Merwin poem that started it all. |
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| Julia Strachey "cogitating". |
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| Dorothy Gish and Elmer Clifton, 1916 |
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| Marjorie Hart (author of Summer At Tiffany) and her friend Marty at the beach in 1945. |
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| The Beatles in Elizabethan Costume, 1964 |
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| Ant McPartlin, 9 months |
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| Declan Donnelly, 3 years |
(As you can see I saved best for last - little Ant and Dec, awww.)
(And it is really hard to format pictures with the new blogger, so pardon my wonky spacing. >_<)
This is rather a patchwork post - two unrelated things sewn together. It feels like the old days! This is nice. For me, at least. ;)
Your poem is beautiful and raw with emotion <3
ReplyDeletePlease do not disappear, this world needs your beautiful soul. I hope you find happiness in these summer days, however rainy they might be.
E xx
Thank you, E. Oh, my darling - I hope I can believe that soon. I hope you find (or continue to find) happiness as well, you precious girl. ♥
DeleteWell, let me just say that I think you achieved your goal of making your word sharper. There's still the loveliness of your imagery (which I'm a big fan of), but there seems to be a lot more action going on in the lines. And each moment, or image stands out vibrantly. I love it so much that I want to scan your poem and hang it on my wall, haha ;)
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing choice in scans! Amy Lowell? Dorothy Gish? YESSS. And I love Ant's baby picture. He looks so wise.
I'm not familiar with W.S. Merwin, so I'll have to take a look!
Aww, thank you! That does me such good to hear. (Plus - you referenced my addiction while complimenting me at the same time. EXCELLENT. XD)
DeleteI thought you might appreciate the Dorothy Gish one, but I didn't know you liked Amy Lowell! Aww, he does - he looks like a little sage. :)
I only know of him because I randomly found one of his books in the library. He's not an absolute favourite, but he does have some gorgeous works!
You are darling - thank you for always commenting. I have been trying to write some ugly too, for fear that my pretty has become superficial. xoxo love to you.
ReplyDeleteP.S. I had not heard about the third film! I'm off to Google it to death.
Oh Diana - you are ever so welcome. Thank you for dropping by. :) Ah yes - superficiality is a slinking beast that seems to lurk in my words too. (Not that I detect any superficiality in your words. Not in the least.) Much love to you too. xxx
DeleteP.S. That sounds like an excellent plan! :D
I think you succeeded with the poem. I noted right away how raw and unpolished it felt--absolutely not a bad thing. It works so well. I think the line that will stay with me the longest is the one about bleached lips, and the moistness of words.
ReplyDeleteLittle Dec is adorable but he looks like he's plotting to eat my face, and I am not comfortable with that.
REALLY? Well, that made my night. :) Thank you so much, Jenica.
DeleteHaahaha, oh my gosh. He kind of does. XD (But hey, at least it'll be someone uber adorable eating your face! No one wants a grotesque personage gnawing on their face, right?)
Loved your poem! I actually prefer darker, more raw poetry. It's a nice change & somehow realer to me.
ReplyDeleteThe images were fantastic as well :)
Thank you so much, Ari! I could've guessed you prefer the darker stuff. :)
DeleteHehe, thanks. It's lovely to see you around!
Your writing is terrific! I enjoyed this more gritty poem (although tis not usually the stuff i lean towards!)
ReplyDeleteWhat have you been busy doing? xxx
Aww, thank you, lovely Tilly! xxx
DeleteLet's see, I believe at the time I wrote this, I had recently volunteered at a children's program for a convention (though really I should say my mother volunteered me, since she runs the program :P), and then we had family in for festivities, and I also babysat once. So... busy for me. And this past week I was busy vacationing. ;)
i love you, i don't have the proper words to tell you, just please try not to disappear, melee. tc.
ReplyDeleteOh haze, I know what it is to feel like you don't have the right words. But you always bring light. I love you too. And I promise I won't disappear. ♥
DeleteCan I just say that I just read your poem and I absolutely loved, loved, loved it? That is all really. xxxx (love you forever)
ReplyDeleteEEEE, LENA! Thank you - you make me happy. For your kind words, and just in general. :) (I love you forever too.) xxx
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