Wednesday, February 1, 2012

insanity - 3 A.M.





The absence of snow wakened me last night. The edges of the earth were folding inwards, and the trees were rattling their dry bones.

I thought I saw a stranger hunched in the corner; I thought I saw a forgotten bit of sanity scuttling across the floor.

The feeling I was lying in the wrong bed presented itself to me and then refused to leave. With infrequent breathing, I lay and listened to the sound of nothing humming somewhere in the distance.

I told you not to wake me til my eyes are blue, I mumbled at the blank, dim expanse of ceiling.


The sheets were taut over my body: a cocoon, a straitjacket. I found them comforting: knowing they, at least, would hold me forever.

My thoughts hopped around the room, with heartbeats as delicate as those of winterbirds.

Oh, how silent the birds are,
was the last thought to slip across my mind, as once more I slipped into a sea of uneasy sleep.

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{Though not what originally inspired this piece, I dedicate this post to the wee hours of the morning and my tendency to wake up during them and exist in an incoherent state, where I am technically awake, but still asleep in many ways.}



{Photo is the cover of Jesca Hoop's EP, Snowglobe.}

18 comments:

  1. It sounds like the worlds most realistic nightmare. You wrote this incredibly well, and the fact that it is such a realistic sort of passage makes it even stronger. I would submit this somewhere. It would likely be published.
    Xx
    Ps: hope you are well, dearest

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    1. Oh my - thank you, Ever! Your comment has done my heart such good. Having anything published seems like such an impossibility, though it really shouldn't. It was wonderful to hear from you. :) I am very well! I hope you are too. xx

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  2. Oooh, exquisite. You have such a way with words, I could feel the silence and the grey darkness closing in around me. Sanity scuttling across the floor--I love that line, it's so ironic.
    P.S. I hope your finger is mending well :)

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    1. I'm so happy you could feel that. While writing it, I was sort of existing in and feeling it. Thank you so much. :)

      It is, thank you! Or I think it is, at least... heh.

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  3. This is such a beautiful piece of writing! You are so talented <3

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    1. Oh, thank you so much, E! You are such a sweet friend. ♥

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  4. Winterbird heartbeats and absences of snow... "I told you not to wake me til my eyes are blue"... Melee, this is beyond beautiful. I love love love this style of stringing together tiny snippets and wisps of thought. This is surely one of my favourite pieces of writing on your blog!

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    1. Dearest B. - I thank you from the bottom of my heart. I am terribly happy you liked this so much. I did love writing it, as I also love the style of 'stringing together snippets and wisps of thought' (I adore how you phrased that). :)

      xxx

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  5. Writings like this are one of the few reasons why I want to be on blogger forever. Oh! And maybe I could read your words forever. Hehe

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    1. Aww, haze - you are so dear to me! Thank you. :) That sounds wonderful, if it means I could read your words forever! xx

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  6. Okay, so, I love all your writing, but it's amazing how much I can relate to such situations. I tend to set my alarm clock at multiple times so that I can wake up early, just to know that I can still go back to sleep, you know? I like tricking myself like that, especially on days when I have to wake up of very early. Those extra tricked minutes are totally worth it.

    Yes, Hugo! I know how you feel. I felt like I had seen a movie so well orchestrated in years. No exaggeration. I left the theater perfectly content and buzzing with excitement. And the Buster cameo? I mean, talk about pure love! That man. I'm glad you liked the video I posted with Buster's seductive lines, hahaha. I watched that whole movie at that one of the best gags in there :)

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    1. Thank you - I'm glad you could relate. :) There is little better than that feeling of waking up and knowing you can go back to sleep. I rarely set my alarm, but if I did I would probably do something like that. Mind games are fun, hehe. :)

      When I watch Hugo again I shall have to look out for Buster's cameo, as I am now more acquainted with his face. :) (On that note, I can't wait for it to come out on DVD!)

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  7. Those strange hours early in the mornings are truly the times when the ghosts come out to play, sleep and I have such a strange relationship and it most often times leaves me with violet half moons strung beneath my eyes. You've captured it all so beautifully, just lovely.

    xx

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    1. Thank you so much, lovely Jhordyn. Your words are very precious to me. xx

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  8. There is a screen shot from Before Sunrise. I am in love with this space now. And your writing. And the absence of snow. Sigh.

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    1. Oh, thank you so much for your kind comment; it made me smile. :) I adore Before Sunrise; it's simply the best!

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Silhouettes of a secret. A story told over a cuppa. Or perhaps just sitting on that stone bench, basking in the moonlight... and not saying anything at all.


("I can no other answer make but thanks, and thanks, and ever thanks." -Shakespeare, Twelfth Night)