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I seem to have lost the art of communication
somewhere in the time between riding this ghost-ridden carousel
and standing at the top of the Leaning Tower of Me.
And somewhere between the folds of my dirty sheets,
lies my heart, which must have slipped out while I was sleeping.
I keep the window shut, so it can't have gone anywhere else.
Oh, no matter how much you hum to yourself, it can't sate your craving of song.
And no matter how hard you search,
you won't be able to find what I really want to say
between these silly lines.
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This is lame. But I feel rather lame these days; it's reflecting in these meanderings.
I feel like I've not had a real conversation with anyone in weeks. I've built a wall of chatter around me, and I throw loaves of drivel over it to satisfy those who may want to come in.
I'm tired of talking about my pain, since it just makes me feel worse. I prefer to let myself slip into that familiar emotional monotone. I'm very tired of it all. But even writing this has made me feel bad. Ugh. Let's move on to something happier....
Want to hear me singing a cappella?
Okay, well maybe that's not something happier, but I have all these recordings rotting on my computer, so why not?
This was recorded a few weeks ago, when everyone was out to dinner, but I stayed home, because I had eaten out with them the night before and that was enough for me. Not that I don't love my family, but I'm not a big fan of restaurants. (The grandparents were in town; we don't generally eat out that often. :P)
Here's me singing part of 'Hey, Who Really Cares' by Linda Perhacs.
Me, I am mediocre - but the song is wonderful, as is its writer.
Tonight I feel alright. Content, even? What is the secret to making these feelings last, pray tell?
(P.S. I have recently come out of the closet to the general public about my real name. It begins with "Beth" and ends with "any". :P I don't care if you call me that, or if you call me Melee. I will continue to write under this dear pseudonym, though.)
{The text at the top was scanned from The Moviegoer by Walker Percy.}
